1) There is nothing quite like a shot of tequila to start a rumble in your belly and to help you move from a sleepy disposition to a rather energized bunny. At least when you get to work, there'll be something other than sleepy dust in your eyes.
2) To drown out the meaningless sound of your boss's dulcit tones when he drones on and on in Monday morning meetings, try lacing your tea with absinthe. Not only will his tales of his time spent in the Kruger become a comedic experience, but you may even start to see him as one of the big five.
3) 10am snack time calls for a tot of whiskey coz nothing says 'Hells Bells, let's move this sh!t along' like some Jack Daniels.
4) Lunch is the time when all the plebs congregate in the kitchen and you have to listen to people's boring weekend habits like 'I made pot roast but the meat was off so I doused it with salt and my husband couldn't tell the difference.' What is needed now is a clean, long glass of vodka. Neat. No one will be able to tell that it isn't water as it leaves no aftetaste and has no smell. Now sip. Smile. Nod.
5) I always need to wet my whistle at about 3ish and nothing helps me get through the last 2 hours of work than a gin and tonic. I always feel decidedly British when I drink it and it gives me that stiff upper lip to cope with the remaining bull of the day.
6) Home time calls for a celebration. Break out that rum and feel the magic moving through your legs as you kick off the rubbish of the day and laugh over the perpetuable crap that you don't get paid enough to deal with.
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